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The hustle, the hassle, the heartache

>Man, life has been going a MILE A MINUTE the last few weeks and there is no slow motion in sight until at least October….work has been ridiculous, home has been busy and the outside world has just been confusing and a little bit sad…

I have faced a few challenges at work in the last few weeks that have left me questioning my career, my sanity and my ability to keep my mouth shut in a volatile situation. I have never been one to walk away from a situation, even at its worst, but wow…Friday night I came close. If you read my entry from Friday morning, you read how absolutely desperate I was with pleading for mercy…the pain I was in was unbearable and I couldn’t work the rest of the day in that state.

Fortunately God heard my cry and healed my headache pain. Unfortunately I proceeded to have one of the worst work events/situations that I can remember in recent history. I came within 2 minutes of walking off the job site and saying “Screw It” (and perhaps violating some major HR rules). I came home in a foul mood and was angry about it all weekend…I think I have mentioned before that under no circumstances do I feel like my job should ever follow me home. I do NOT have that kind of job…it is not critical and it should not have that effect on my personal life. That said, I take it personally when a job I am involved in is not executed right, my fault or not….so I stewed…

That compounded on top of a busy weekend and news that an old friends father had passed away…the weekend wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. When I learned my friends father had passed away I was obviously saddened by the news, but furthered saddened because I have not been in contact with her in several months, nor did I have any way to contact her. I couldn’t even offer her my condolences…it is funny…the Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

The exact same evening that I learned of her father’s death I log onto facebook and there in my friend request inbox is a friend request from her….wow. SO I accept the request and write her a message telling her that I had heard, I was so sorry to hear and if she needed me…I was here for her. She lives in another state, but her father lived here so I knew she would likely be here. Turns out I was right…she is here and gave me the funeral info. I think I am going to attend. I know that may seem weird considering our current friendship, but she was one of my best friends growing up. Regardless of the current state of our friendship, I want to be someone who people know they can count on…someone that a friend can come to when they need support, when they need love, when they need to talk or when they need prayer.

I have learned in the past and from experience watching my parents that it may not always work as a two way street. When you offer yourself up for the taking, sometimes that is all that happens, you get taken, and taken, and taken…but I have made the decision that I am created to be a giver of life, a giver of love and a giver of support to those who are in need of it. I will get my love and support from my own sources and turn and give to others…I believe that is one of the gifts God has given me and I am prepared to use it. He will equip me for whatever task He calls me to…whatever the cost.


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